Prank Calls
by Sakura Schiffer
Summary: When Sakura gets bord, the randomness comes out! Involves Aizen, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, & many other bleach charcters, along with Sakura & OC i decide to put into the insanity! Request if you want a certain charcter to be mentally violated or yourself! OC & maybe OOC
1. Callidora&Sakura

**Sakura:…*Giggles* I have problems… **

**Kazuhira: O_o You're just now noticing this?!**

**Sakura: I have been perfectly sane until now, thank you!**

**Hichigo: *Sadistic grin* Bitch, you don't know the meaning!**

**Sakura: & you do?!**

**Hichigo:…shut up…**

**Shiro: HHHIIICCCHHHIIIGGGOOO! 888DDD**

**A/N: Have you read my stories? Do I seem like I am the mastermind behind the awesomeness of Bleach? (& no…Sôsuke Aizen ain't the mastermind either…We just like to let him think he is!)**

**~ENJOY ;3**

**Callidora Jaegerjaquez**: Aisai~ is there anything good to do?

**Sakura Schiffer**: *Shrugs shoulders* I don't know…I found a smelly fish! (^_^)

**Callidora**: Oh! Let's prank call someone!

**Sakura**: O-tay~! Your man or mine?

**Callidora**: Oh! Yours! *Calls Ulquiorra Schiffer with blocked number*

**Ulquiorra Schiffer**: *Answers phone* Hello?

**Sakura**: You **ARE** the father!

**Ulquiorra**: Excuse you?

**Callidora**: FISH!

**Ulquiorra**: Pardon?

**Sakura**: Smelly fish?

**Ulquiorra**: I do not comprehend your outburst…who is this?

**Callidora**: You smelly my smelly fish? Smelly fish good! Good smelly fish!

**Ulquiorra**: Were you dropped on your head at any point of time when you were an infant?

**Sakura**: I will slap you with my smelly fish! Fish wars!

**Callidora**: Fish lips!

**Sakura**: Fish sticks!

**Callidora**: Grimmjow-Sama's fish!

**Sakura**: Grimm-Kitty's stick! 8D

**Ulquiorra**: *Quietly hangs up phone*

**Sakura&Callidora**: *Keeps naming off random fish & stick things*

**Callidora**: Aizen-Sama's fish!

**Sakura**: Pimp-Sama's stick! 8D

~FIN (for now…)

**Sakura: Oh~ Pimp~Sama~! I have a serious question for you~**

**Aizen: Please Sakura-Chan…ask me anything.**

**Sakura: *Gin smile* Are you…naked under your clothes?**

**Gin&Tosen: O_O**

**Aizen: *Dramatic smirk* Why yes, Sakura-Chan…yes I am…**

**Kazuhira&Narunosuke: *Covers ears* THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! I DON'T NEED THIS INSANITY!**

**Callidora: I…um…i….REVEIW!~**

**Quote (Brought to you by the randomness of Google): I'm the girl that can watch hundreds of horror movies & not get scared but would scream at the top of her lungs when toast pops out of the toaster!**


	2. Shiro&Sakura-Hichigo

**Sakura: Now…as we all confimed in the last crackfic: I am insane, correct?**

**Narunosuke: About so, yeah…**

**Kazuhira: No doubt about it!**

**Shinkoate: It's what I love about you though!**

**Shinkoate: Lo Lo's worst!**

**Lo Lo: When da fuck did I get here?!**

**Shiro: HHHIIICCCHHHIIIGGGOOO!**

**Hichigo: It just makes ya sexy ta me…but I have to agree to whatever King says…**

**Ichigo: *scowls***

**Callidora: I love my Aisai the way she is!**

**A/N: If you're really blonde enough to not remember any of my other disclaimers…your worse than me…!**

**~ENJOY ;3**

**Sakura** Schiffer: Shiro~Chan…I'm bbboooaaarrrddd~…

**Shiro Haruno**: I am too, Saku-Blossom…I KNOW! Let's call my sexy beast of a man!

**Sakura**: M'KAY! *Calls Hichigo Shirosaki with blocked number*

**Hichigo Shirosaki**: *answers phone* Da hell ya want? I'm busy!

**Sakura**: Berries & cream!

**Hichigo**: What?

**Shiro**: Strawberries & whipped cream! (Giggle)

**Sakura**: First their sour! Then their FUCKIN SOUR!

**Hichigo**: Guessin yer either on crack or drunk off yer ass…

Sakura: Wwweeelll~

**Shiro**: Fuck, its da po po! Hide the dope!

**Sakura**: *Smacks gum* So, what yer tellin me Hon, is that ya ordered 2,000 creates of strawberries & 39 gallons of chocolate? That sure ain't enough coco to cover yer berries, ya know?

**Hichigo**: What? Who da hell ordered all that crap? I sure as hell didn't! Ya got da wrong number, bitch!

**Shiro**: *Smacks gum too* So ya want twenty boxes of twizzler thongs & two leather bras with a whip included? That will be $89,000,000.00. Cash only! Would ya like it fer here or ta go, darling?

**Hichigo**: Bitch, what are ya smoking? I haven't ordered any damn thing! Ya got da wrong number!

**Sakura**: Why won't you love me?! Why won't you love me Hichi-Kun?!

**Shiro**: Luck…I iz your father…twice removed!

**Hichigo**: I'm hanging up…

**Shiro**: So, you want sixty twizzler thongs?

**Sakura**: Berries & cream!

**Hichigo**: *Slams phone closed*

**Shiro&Sakura**: I play twister in my shower!

**Thoran: I'm scared of you sometimes…**

**Grimmjow: *Shrugs shoulders* who fuckin cares?!**

**Matt: I just think you're stupid sometimes…**

**Jakob /w a K: If I say you're sane do I get a cookie?**

**Utsukushijisatsu: You're my wife! Of course you're insane!**

**Inaho: INSANE IN THE MIMBRAIN! 8D**

**Sakura: *Throws mini mash pit out third story window* okay! I think everyone gets it! **

Quote: If Barbie is so popular then why do people have to buy her friends?


	3. Sakura&Shinkoate-Gin

**Sakura: *sitting in "Emo Corner" pouting & mumbling* ****I want my Gaara-Kun…****Gaara-Kun****…*sniffs***

**Kazuhira: *looks at Sakura and shrugs* Hey Shiro-Chan…what's wrong with Saku-Chan…?**

**Shiro: *Looks at Sakura and rolls eyes* Our Sakura has gone and fallen for a dude over the internet…his screen name is NekoGaara…like always Sakura is breaking the 'no no rules'…**

**Sakura: Shut up Shiro-Chan! You got that "Hawk" dude! *Pouts more* **

**Shiro: At least my man is straight!**

**Sakura: *Throws Kazuhira cut-out at Shiro's head* Shut up! **

**Kazuhira: *looks at Shiro & Sakura again and crosses arms* Lucky internet bastereds…!**

**Sakura Schiffer & Shinkoate -Gin Ichimaru**

**Sakura: **Hm…hey, Shinkoate-Kun…has you met my smelly fish yet?  
**Shinkoate:** Nah…wait WHAT?!

**Sakura:** *holds up random hamburger phone* Talk to the buns! Call Gin-Kun!~

**Shinkoate:** *Shrugs and calls Gin*

**Gin:** Heller?

**Sakura&Shinkoate:** Heller?~

**Gin: **Who's there?

**Sakura&Shinkoate: **Who's there?~

**Gin: **Are you repeating everything I say?

**Sakura&Shinkoate:** Are you repeating everything I say?~

**Gin: **I asked you first! Don't counter my question with the same question!

**Sakura: **YOU SMELLY MY SMELLY FISH?! SMELLY FISH GOOD! GOOD SMELLY FISH!

**Shinkoate: **Imma Squirttle all over your Jigglypuffs!

**Gin:** Umm…

**Sakura: **Imma Gobbie Gobber, Yeah! You're a Gobbie Gobber, yeah!

**Shinkoate: **I've got a lever you can pull~

**Gin:** Oh, really now~…? I'd love to pull your lever…~!

**Sakura&Shinkoate: **…

**Gin:** Heller…?

**Sakura&Shinkoate: ***Hangs up* o_O

**Gin:** Aw…they always hang up when I wanna join…*sigh*

**Kazuhira: *Throws hands in air* Where the hell are you people meeting these people?!**

**Sakura&Shiro: DurrrChat…**

**Kazuhira: *Runs to computer***

**Shiro: *Throws banana at Sakura's head* At least Hawk knows I'm a girl!**

**Sakura: *Crawls under rock* Shut up~…At least Gaara-Kun lets me talk about my real life…**

**Shiro: *Throws Kazuhira at Sakura's rock* At least Hawk is bad-ass!**

**Sakura: At least Gaara-Kun hasn't gotten me pregnant over the internet!**

**Kazuhira: You all crazy internet nerds!**


	4. Sakura&Kazuya-Darth Vadar

**Sakuya: *gets on knees and dramatically screams* I AM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS!**

**Shiro: I AM GOING TO COLLAGE!**

**Kazuhira: DON'T REMIND US!**

**Kazuya: What did I miss…?**

**Kazuhira: *Dramatically points at Kazuya* Shut up! I don't know you!**

**Shiro: *glares at Kazuya* Break Sakuya-Chan's heart again and I will break your neck…**

**Sakuya: *Stands in front of Kazuya waving hands* Whoa, whoa, whoa…stop trying to death glare my man to death!**

**Sakuya&Kazuya-Darth Vadar?**

**Sakuya:** Hey, love…ya wanna mess with someone..? *holds up hamburger phone*

**Kazuya:** *shrugs* whatever…*yawns* ._.

**Sakuya:** *rolls eyes and picks up phone and dials random number*

**Darth Vader:** *answers phone* DAMMIT ELVIS! I SAID I DON'T WANT YOUR MAGIC BANANA!

**Sakuya&Kazuya:** (O_o)

**Darth Vadar**: STOP CALLING ME! *Slams phone down*

**Sakuya&Kazuya**: *looks at each other and the phone*

**Kazuya:** *Shrugs and goes to sleep*

**Sakuya:** *Throws a bowl of hot soup on Kazuya* GET A JOB YOU BUM!

**Kazuya:** *rolls away from soup before it hits him and smirks up at Sakuya* Your dating this bum.

**Sakuya:** *Death glares and slaps Kazuya with my smelly fish* 3

**Sakuya: Yep…*sighs* still got nothing…-_-**

**Shiro: *Shrugs* I guess it's okay…**

**Kazuhira: *puts thumb down and sticks tongue out* ._.**

**Kazuya: *Asleep***

**Sakuya: *Deadpans at Kazuya***


End file.
